I feel bad. I left you in the lurch. I ran and hid. I tried to stay as still as possible so that no-one would see me. I guess I owe you an apology.
If anybody still reads this- we've had some great times over the years.
But I think I'm moving on.
Here's how it goes.
On South African TV news (and probably in news segments worldwide) there is a phenomenon. The news, on any given evening, will be 30 seconds each given to a massive natural disaster and some political blowhard telling lies. This is followed by a few minutes of stock markets crashing and then twenty minutes of sports 'personalities' saying inane things like 'You know, at the end of the day, you win some, and lose some'.
After all this is over, the news presenter clears his throat, fixes his biggest toothiest smile on his face, and says:
"And in arbsville, California, locals are amazed at the antics of this man and his Jack Russell terrier, Frisket, who has learned to surf" [cut to image of amazed locals watching a dog quivering in the waves on a large surfboard]
I hate those 'news' items. They trivialise the global pain, suffering and struggles of us all. They are a poor anaesthetic designed to numb us to reality.
I don't want to leave you with one of those. As I end this blog, I want you to know the truth: The world is hurting. The world is full of sadness. I must contradict the whole purpose of this blog: Not everything is funny.
Having said that, I have so enjoyed having you round to play. I've shared some amazing things with you- You've allowed me into your lives, and I hope that you have enjoyed some of the rubbish I have put up for all to see.
Maybe I'll return with a different blog, another time. I'll be sure to let you all know.